As I’ve mentioned several times, I have two very different masks I wear, which I’ve discovered is fairly typical for a bipolar person. One mask is conservative, quiet, and wholesome, while the other is devious, perverted, and outspoken. The second mask is closest to who I am at my core and it’s the one that’s most comfortable to wear, but certain circumstances–such as work or time with my parents–require me to put on the first one.
So what happens when the second mask collides with the world that knows only the first?
This all started when someone replied to an online personal ad. Immediately we started flirting (second mask) and quickly discovered that we both recognized each other from work (first mask). I should have put the brakes on right there, but I didn’t think about it until a little later when the flirting had increased a little and now she’s seen that second mask, with all the BDSM, poly, paganism in tow. So here’s where I’m in trouble. Right now she’s out of town, but she returns next week and when she does she’s going to bring all that knowledge with her. The second mask is about to come in contact with the world surrounding the first, and I have no idea what will happen.
I’m very private about things at my work, and at my conservative job it’s necessary to ward off that other side of me so I stay in good graces with the powers. Now it may affect my ability to get promoted or get a raise, and while I’ve already been actively looking for another job, I don’t want to leave my bosses with anything negative to say.
The time bomb is ticking down. It could be nothing; it could destroy an entire part of me. That may not be such a bad thing, though.
light the green
