My dating life continues in full swing, more or less.
My date from last weekend, whom I was supposed to meet last night, went AWOL on me so I was essentially stood up. It sucked, especially because Nancy and I parted ways just so I wouldn’t miss my date with her. It was kind of a bummer in theory, but things between Nancy and I have been going so well recently that I haven’t even had a chance to feel down about it.
As ever, though, my relationship with Nancy remains undefined and I’m still OK with that. We spend every day together, and call each other even more often, but I know she still has a long list of guys lined up who want to date her, or at least sex her up, and she does nothing to discourage them. Honestly, I think it comes from a sense of insecurity she has. She feels unloveable, so she collects these male friends that couldn’t get it any other way and keeps them on a string so she can maintain a supply of reassurance.
It’s not exactly healthy behavior, I know, but I think I’m drawn to broken people, perhaps because I often feel the same way. I’ve always felt like I have so much to offer to the core of someone special, but I can’t ever seem to get past their defenses, the games people play and the shallow criteria we evaluate people on. So much, I wish I could connect with someone honest enough to share their personal essense with me and all us to build a real relationship on top of it. That connection just seems so far away now, though.
Anyway, I’m still enjoying my time with Nancy, and I know she’s not for me long-term but short-term we’re having fun, and I’ll have no guilt when I meet someone new and taper things off with her. After all, we’ve made no commitments, and with her needs I doubt we will. So until the time that I find someone more compatible, I’m just going to enjoy myself as we fulfill each other for a while.
red
