Getting By

I’ve been depressed the whole day and I think a lot of it is due to the weather. It was nice and sunny earlier this week; so sunny in fact that I managed to get one of the worst sunburns I have ever had on my back. Today, though, it’s overcast and I feel the weight of the world sitting on my chest.

I’ve come to grips with the fact that my date last Saturday won’t be calling me back. There’s still some disappointment there, but it is what it is, and I have no way of knowing what’s going on in her mind. So now I’m moving on.

I suffered a little more disappointment today because I usually go on the prowl during my lunch breaks. There’s always somewhere nearby I can go to, sit down, and eat while I watch people come and go. I rarely talk to anybody, but I’m always gauging the interest of the women that come in, and occasionally I’ll do something about it. Today, though, I was out taking one of my employees to lunch for her birthday so I didn’t get a chance. It was particularly frustrating today because I’m feeling like I need to really connect with someone and soon. It’s been a while and I miss being close to someone.

There have been a lot of frustrations in my life lately, but I’m coping as best I can, trying to keep my moods under control. It’s been really hard when I add my bipolar disorder to it, but somehow I’m getting by.

metal heart